Baby abroad: home birth, birthing center, + international births
We want to feature a series of home birth stories in Mississippi. The board of Better Birth Mississippi hopes these stories are an encouragement to some mamas and for others, a message that legislation is needed immediately to license midwives in our state.
Our first story is from our friend, Lacey*, who writes:
“My son was born in Seoul, Korea in 2014. I had no idea what to expect and had no experience with babies and birthing and all the decisions that need to be made. Fortunately, my friend had a baby the year before and recommended a natural birthing center. My doctor was able to perform emergency C-sections if needed and there was a surgery room in the birthing center, which was comforting to know. There were also no epidurals and the emphasis was on mother-led (really baby-led) birth with as little intervention as possible. I gave birth in a large tub with my husband and doula. The lights were dim, no one seemed stressed, and I was allowed to go at my own pace with supportive words when needed. Near the end, the doctor came in and my son was born a few minutes later. No one told me when to push because my body knew. It was empowering and beautiful and gave me so much confidence to know I could listen to my body.
In 2017, before moving to the Mississippi Gulf Coast at 8 months pregnant, I had searched high and low for a similar birthing experience and found none. I did not want a typical hospital birth because everyone I knew had labor started with Pitocin and worry in a hospital bed on a doctor’s schedule. I was nervous to have a home birth because there's always a chance that things can go wrong. I found Ochsner Baptist Hospital an hour away in New Orleans so I set up appointments there. They employ midwives, and their birthing center is attached to the hospital. Again I gave birth in a tub on my own schedule with no intervention. Both births were about four hours so for me, the water didn't stall the labor. It helped immensely with my comfort and pain reduction. I never want to walk around during labor, but the tub afforded me a good bit of motion and movement while not standing up.
Three months ago, now living in Starkville, MS, I was pregnant with my third child. I went through the options again and again felt disappointed with the options in Mississippi. I thought about moving back to my home country of Canada where midwives can give birth in hospitals, I thought about living with a friend on the coast and going back to NOLA, and I visited with a wonderful and competent midwife here. We live very close to a hospital so I felt more comfortable with a home birth, but the fact that insurance said it would cover 0% was something we couldn't do. I was disappointed, unhappy, and scared that I didn't have a choice but to give birth in a hospital on a hospital bed. I am grateful for life saving hospital techniques, but I do feel both the mental and physical health of the mother are not honored as much as giving birth swiftly during regular hours. The only way I know how to give birth is to relax and I just couldn't figure out how I would relax under those circumstances.
I truly hope Mississippi can revisit their policies towards midwives. Letting them attend births in a hospital and allowing insurance to cover it as a regular birth would be so empowering and would really ease my mind. Also, allowing a woman to labor (even deliver) in a tub would be amazing and would also ease my fears.
Unfortunately, two weeks ago, at twelve weeks, I miscarried. I'm unsure if we'll try again or not, but not being allowed to deliver the way I want to is definitely giving me pause. It's not a small thing. It's contributing to me thinking we may not try again. And I think the way a mother gives birth, as long as it's safe, should not be another worry that we need to grapple with.”
*Names have been changed to protect privacy.
